What’s Missing?

By Mary Joy Florentino

One day, I was lying on the green grass under a blue sky,
And I feel very happy I even wanted to fly
All is well, a bright future is ahead
Everything is fine until I rested on my bed

I have slept and woke up one day,
It feels like I have nothing to say
At the back of my head I know there’s something missing
I tell myself there’s none, but it isn’t convincing

My energy was drained,
My body and soul in vain,
I walk with my head bowed down
And my face, always with a frown

I woke up the other day wondering why,
Everyday feels hard for me to get by
A lot of things should be done
But my passions are gone

My blue sky had turned into gray,
And I have a lot of questions to say
Why did a lot of things change
The answers to my questions are all in a far range

As dark clouds continue to build
I know I should prepare and find a shield
But unfortunately, for me it was hard
I have nothing for myself as a guard

I’m open to attacks, so weak and vulnerable
And a lot of people tell that it’s too visible
Confusion came, insecurities crept in
In many sides of my life, anxiety walked in

It feels like I have fallen on the ground
And it made a really loud sound
I was hurt, damaged
Continuously carrying this baggage

I know there’s something missing,
So I cried for help wishing
But I guess no one heard it
Now I’m the only one who’ll bear all of it

Today, I’m trapped inside a maze
Hoping for those things to be seized
I shouted, “Give me back my faith,
Faith in myself and faith in having dreams!” and then I silently wait

All alone looking for comfort
Looking for someone who will give support
Out of nowhere in my mind, a quote snapped:
“When you reach the very bottom, there’s no other way but to go up!”

And now that I’m starting to learn how to fight,
I’m trying my best with all my might
Right now I’m living the renaissance of my life
I don’t want to go back to the dark ages I survived…